Ah, mornings. The time of day when the world is still a little blurry, your hair is sticking up in every direction, and you feel like you just got hit by a train. But fear not, my fellow humans, for I have the solution to all of our morning woes: a little makeup and a lot of coffee.
Let’s start with the makeup. Now, I know some of you may be thinking, “But but, I don’t need makeup to be beautiful!” And to that, I say, “Girl, you’re right! You don’t need makeup to be beautiful, but you sure as hell need it to look alive.”
There’s something about a little concealer under the eyes and a swipe of mascara that can make even the most sleep-deprived among us look like we got a full eight hours of beauty rest. And let’s not forget the power of a bold lip to distract from the fact that you may or may not have brushed your teeth yet.
Now, onto the coffee. I mean, do I even need to explain the importance of coffee in the morning? It’s like the elixir of life. It’s the thing that gets us out of bed and into the world. Without it, we’d all be wandering around like zombies, muttering about the impending doom of another Monday.
And let’s not forget the added benefits of coffee. It’s a natural diuretic, so it’ll help you lose that water weight you gained from eating an entire pizza last night.
Plus, it’s a great way to start conversations with your coworkers. “Hey, did you try the new blend in the break room? It’s like drinking a unicorn’s tears!” (Although those words will never,,,EVER,,, be spoken at my place of employment. Ever)
So, in conclusion, if you want to be the best version of yourself in the morning, grab a makeup bag and a mug of coffee. You don’t have to go full glam, just a little something to make you feel like a human being. And if anyone tries to judge you for it, just sip your coffee and tell them to bugger off. Cheers to being a functional member of society!
I have manuals to read and coffee to sip.
Until later my darlings. Until later.
/L.
