I am an addict.
I accepted that fact a little over two years ago.
Finally it all made sense. I was no longer a useless fat person with no character what so ever.
I was addicted.
Sugar, in all its forms, is my drug of choice.
Addiction is one hard beast to beat, let me tell ya, but i did it. I do it every day. The fight will never end and i will never give up. Some days are easy some very hard. So ho do i do it?
Being vigilante and aware of my choices has been the sucess factor in stayin sober and getting back on track when i have fallen back into destructive patterns.
I find that eating as few carbs as possible and drinking very little or no alcohol helps my brain make room for that second of decisiontime that i need when temptations and old habits fall upon my path. It gives me peace both mentally and physically. I can sleep. I like myself when i pass a mirror. Not because of what i look like, but becacuse of who i am.
That´s a first for me.
38 years of self loathing has finally ended.
I turn 40 on the 24th of september this year and i_can´t_wait! I will be healthier, happier and, for that matter, better looking than i have ever been beore. YEY for that!
This year will dedicated to inner focus, not outer. To quality, not quantity and to honesty, not deception.
All of the above to myself. I am thankful every day for my husband and my family. Nothing would be lasting without them.
I live by these Words every day:
“O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed,
The courage to change what can be changed,and the wisdom to know the one from the other”
Until later dear friends, until later.