Ok..i want a lot.
I admit it. I really do.
I want to have hairfree legs.
I want to have perfect eyebrows.
I want to have the skin i had when i was 22 and didnt realize it was perfect.
I want have more money so i can play more with our kids and work less.
And then it hits me.
Who the hell cares about my legs?
My eyebrows are damn good looking with just a tad effort.
My children only cares if i am present in mind when i play with them, not the amount of time i do it.
So. Today i stop whining about stupid things. …and yes i know that will come back an bite me in my rather well padded behind.
I like this life.
It pisses me off occasionally. But i love it.
I posted a the question “How did we meet and what was your first impression of me” on FB a few weeks back. I actually thought i would get a lot of negative comments or messages since i lived a rather destructive life early on. But no. I got love-bombed. Memories of a first kiss on a birthday,, running into me at a conference, me giving a s speech somewhere, being my brothers nice older sister.
You name it. It warmed my heart and i think about those comments every day.
I dont´t remember me being that nice or giving. I remember me being angry, very angry and taking it out on everyone around me. Justifying it with more or less well rounded arguments.
All those answers makes it just a little easier to forgive myself for all the bad i have done.
Not all of it..not by far….but it helps me remember that i wasnt all bad. Just sometimes.
I have thoughts to think, colleagues to bother and work to get done.
Until later.